There are two seemingly unrelated events in the news of late; high oil prices and lowering global temperatures. Both prove that global warming is a hoax, but they also lead us into brand new territory.
The Americans have a weather machine and they are not telling us.
This weather machine is undoubtedly huge and powerful. It requires lots of oil to run properly, but it gives out so much pollution it must work even harder. The initial goal of the machine was to fight global warming, but it was recently discovered that Reverse Global Warming has been occurring as a coincidence and not due to any actions the weather machine has taken. In fact, it has recently been discovered by our inside source that the machine was switched to sunny for the last two months, allegedly by mistake.
This means one of two things, dear reader. Either the machine does not work and is simply sitting around wasting oil as a scheme to burn more oil and drive the prices up or it is actually fighting an impending ice age and we need to feed more oil into it so it can work harder. Unfortunately, I never claimed to have all the answers, just most of them.
Previous speculation that the machine is a bionic bigfoot has been proven false.
